Moses was given a mission by God that he felt unqualified to do. He felt like the people God was sending him too wouldn't listen to him. Moses even asked God to pick someone else to do the job God gave to him. This was all after Moses heard God speak to him through a burning bush that wasn't being destroyed by the fire.
Exodus 3:10-15, (NLT)
Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.”
But Moses protested to God, “Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?”
God answered, “I will be with you. And this is your sign that I am the one who has sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God at this very mountain.”
But Moses protested, “If I go to the people of Israel and tell them, ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what should I tell them?”
God replied to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.[d] Say this to the people of Israel: I AM has sent me to you.” God also said to Moses, “Say this to the people of Israel: Yahweh,[e] the God of your ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.
Exodus 4:1, 10-13 (NLT)
But Moses protested again, “What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The LORD never appeared to you’?”
But Moses pleaded with the LORD, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”
Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”
I understand a bit about how Moses might have been feeling. I didn't see a burning bush or hear an audible voice, but I heard one in my soul. I didn't get a mission to save God's people from slavery to the Egyptians, but I did get a mission to tell women what God thinks of them, and how much they are loved and valued, because He made them. I also got a mission to gather women to pray for their marriages.
I know that I have some of the same worries as Moses, why me? Who am I to be doing that? What will I say? God you know I don't speak well, that I am shy and nervous even with a few women. And God knows that I have asked Him to pick someone else to do this. I know that I am unqualified by the world's standards or by mine. :)
And yet the calling is still there, and there is an urgency in it, just last night I got a message to stop squandering my time and get to work. I am hesitant because I have no clue how to begin. I am not used to leading something, I am not really an organized person, I am shy, I like to lurk in the background, that is where I am most comfortable.
I have spoken to a few women's groups about my story and my jewelry Broken Clay, but I am still not completely comfortable with that. Although I do love talk about how God has been good to me and my family. What God has done in my life is exciting to talk about. God is wonderfully exciting! Living life with Him is a beautiful adventure. I will be forever grateful for His grace and mercy in my life.
I have told God on numerous occasions that I want to live my whole life for Him, I think this is what He is asking of me.
I think He is waiting to see if I will even trust Him with what I am most afraid of, my success or failure. He understands me, because He made me. He understands the fears that I have, my self doubt, my feelings of not measuring up. I wonder what He thinks when I keep bringing these questions and fears up to Him, does He get frustrated with me? Does He say to me “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” like He did to Moses? Probably!
It is funny that I read this today after I clearly heard Him say stop squandering your time. Squander isn't a term I use, but I understood by the tone that I heard it used in, that it was warning me that I was hesitating when I should be moving. Sorry God.
I looked up squander and here is what I found
squander |ˈskwändər|verb [ trans. ]waste (something, esp. money or time) in a reckless and foolish manner• allow (an opportunity) to pass or be lost
Then the LORD asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.”
But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.”
I understand a bit about how Moses might have been feeling. I didn't see a burning bush or hear an audible voice, but I heard one in my soul. I didn't get a mission to save God's people from slavery to the Egyptians, but I did get a mission to tell women what God thinks of them, and how much they are loved and valued, because He made them. I also got a mission to gather women to pray for their marriages.
I know that I have some of the same worries as Moses, why me? Who am I to be doing that? What will I say? God you know I don't speak well, that I am shy and nervous even with a few women. And God knows that I have asked Him to pick someone else to do this. I know that I am unqualified by the world's standards or by mine. :)
And yet the calling is still there, and there is an urgency in it, just last night I got a message to stop squandering my time and get to work. I am hesitant because I have no clue how to begin. I am not used to leading something, I am not really an organized person, I am shy, I like to lurk in the background, that is where I am most comfortable.
I have spoken to a few women's groups about my story and my jewelry Broken Clay, but I am still not completely comfortable with that. Although I do love talk about how God has been good to me and my family. What God has done in my life is exciting to talk about. God is wonderfully exciting! Living life with Him is a beautiful adventure. I will be forever grateful for His grace and mercy in my life.
I have told God on numerous occasions that I want to live my whole life for Him, I think this is what He is asking of me.
I think He is waiting to see if I will even trust Him with what I am most afraid of, my success or failure. He understands me, because He made me. He understands the fears that I have, my self doubt, my feelings of not measuring up. I wonder what He thinks when I keep bringing these questions and fears up to Him, does He get frustrated with me? Does He say to me “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” like He did to Moses? Probably!
It is funny that I read this today after I clearly heard Him say stop squandering your time. Squander isn't a term I use, but I understood by the tone that I heard it used in, that it was warning me that I was hesitating when I should be moving. Sorry God.
I looked up squander and here is what I found
squander |ˈskwändər|verb [ trans. ]waste (something, esp. money or time) in a reckless and foolish manner• allow (an opportunity) to pass or be lost
I think both those definitions could be used for what I am doing by hesitating. God has asked me to do this before, about 6 years ago was the first time, then again in 2008, and again 2010, 2011, and 2012. Each time I found other things to do with my time, mainly good things. A lot of what I did was good, like raising and homeschooling my girls (that was not wasted time, because I believe that my girls are gifts to Cam and I, and the the most important ministry God gave to us), working on our marriage (also a gift from God), the everyday lists of things needed to take care of our house and family, being a friend, and a daughter. Those are all good things, and needed to be done, not wasteful. But, I also know that as my kids have gotten older and needed my time less, I have spent a lot of time in front of the computer that was unnecessary, or in front of the television. In those ways I have wasted too much time. Now don't get me wrong, those things aren't bad in moderation, but I have let a lot of time slip away from me on those pursuits.
These were some of the ways I have used to hesitate in obeying God. There are probably more ways in which I have wasted time that God could point out. Maybe by worrying, or doubting, instead of trusting and boldly moving forward. Well this year I don't want to shrink from what God wants me to do. I will not be like my puppy and dig my heels in when I am afraid. I want to face it head on with confidence, not in me, but in my God. I want to move forward. I want to follow God whole heartedly. I want to be obedient to what God has for me to do.
So now what? What is my next step? I don't really know. All I know is that I am willing. I am also wanting to stop worrying, not sure how to go about doing that either, but I came across something today to try...
I read an article today online about a worry fast, what an interesting idea, I am going to try this. A worry fast is where you refuse to worry. If something causes you to worry, you pray and give it to God, and refuse to worry about it any longer. I sounds easy, but I know that this will be much harder than it sounds for me. It also talked about memorizing scripture to combat the unhealthy thinking. I think I will try to do this for a few days and see what happens.
As for Three Strands...
I am praying for God to step in to my marriage, we are doing well, but I know that God has more in mind for our marriage, our family, I want complete healing and wholeness, and I know God wants that too. I am also going to ask anyone who wants to join me, to get a hold of me through comments on here or on Facebook (Tanis Gray). I would love to meet with other women once a month to pray together. I believe that when we work together God loves it. He says that where two or more are gathered in His name, that He is there. God is the third strand in our marriages. Praise God.
Matthew 18:19-20 (NLT)
“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. 20 For where two or three gather together as my followers,[a] I am there among them.”
Will you join me?
No comments:
Post a Comment