Submission? What does it really mean?

This is a hard concept for me, I don’t believe I was taught this at home, and neither was Cam. Our society struggles with this word as well. Everybody wants their own way. In our culture everybody looks out for number one! And then there is the old saying that if momma ain’t happy then no one is happy. So what are we to do with the word submit in the bible? What does submission mean? How do we apply it today? Maybe it was only meant for that time and culture. We live in different times, is it really meant for us?

Well to even begin to understand it, I want to research what it means, first I will look in the bible, then the dictionary and maybe I will come up with a working definition. Here we go…

Ephesians 5:21-33 (The Voice)

And the Spirit makes it possible to submit humbly to one another out of respect for the anointed. Wives, it should be no different with your husbands. Submit to them as you do to the Lord, for God has given husbands a sacred duty to lead as the Annointed leads the church and serves as the head. (The church is His body; He is her Savior.) So wives should submit to their husbands, respectfully, in all things, just as the church yields to the Annointed One.

Husbands, you must love your wives so deeply, purely, and sacrificially that we can only when we compare it to the love the Annointed One has for His bride, the church. We know He gave Himself up completely to make her His own, washing her clean of all her impurity with water and the powerful presence of His word. He has given Himself so that He can present the church as His radiant bride, unstained, unwrinkled, and unblemished – completely free from all impurity – holy and innocent before Him. So husbands should care for their wives as if their lives depended on it, the same way they care for their own bodies. As you love her, you ultimately are loving part of yourself (remember, you are one flesh) No one really hates his own body; he takes care to feed and love it, just as the Annointed takes care of His church, because we are living members of His body. “And this is the reason a man leaves his father and his mother and is united with his wife; the two come together as one flesh.” There is a great mystery reflected in this scripture, and I say that it has to do with the Annointed One and the church. Nevertheless, each husband is to love and protect his own wife as if she were his very heart, and each wife is to respect her own husband.

The word submit in the bible is the greek word Hypotassō which means

 - to arrange under, to subordinate

2) to subject, put in subjection

3) to subject one's self, obey

4) to submit to one's control

5) to yield to one's admonition or advice

6) to obey, be subject

This word was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

In marriage or non military use submit was used to say that the wife was to voluntarily give in, or cooperate with her husband. She is not supposed to fight against him, she is to cooperate with him. When I look at the definition of cooperation in the dictionary this is what I find…

cooperate (also co-operate)

act jointly; work toward the same end • assist someone or comply with their requests

the Thesaurus says …

cooperate

verb

1 collaborate, work together, work side by side, join forces, unite,

2 be of assistance, assist, help, lend a hand

So we are to work together, join forces, team up, assist, help…, ok what is so hard about that? Nothing but my ego and my selfish, self seeking nature. I want my own way, it is hard to see someone else’s point of view, especially if it doesn’t line up with my point of view. If it doesn’t line up, I need to submit/cooperate with Cam. We need to discuss the issue, both of us, and if we don’t agree, I need to give in. What’s up with that God? how come I need to be the one to give in??? This totally goes against what I have been taught.

Of course I believe my way is better, so does Cam. If we constantly fight for the other to see our point of view and no one gives in, nothing gets done, we can’t move on… chaos ensues. Then how healthy is our marriage? Do I want to be right at all costs, even the cost of a healthy, happy marriage, and then a happy, healthy family? God I think I may see the point of submitting, please help me with this. Give me the strength and the courage to trust you and in turn trust Cam with the ability to make wise choices.

(See note at the bottom of the article if there is any violence or neglect in your marriage. This is definitely not God’s plan for you and your children!!!)

When I place Cam at the head of our family, the place God put him (God gave Cam this authority under Himself). Cam becomes accountable to God for the decisions he makes. God wants what is best for us, He wants to give us abundant life, God wants to prosper us, not to harm us, so the real question is can I trust God, that He knows better than me, Can I trust God with my life? This is the real question.

I believe I can. God has proved Himself trustworthy in my life in so many incredible ways. I believe that God will lead Cam to do what is best for me and our girls. I still struggle with wanting my own way, and I know that Cam has made some unwise choices in the past, and because he is human he will in the future… but the more I encourage Cam to look to God and seek God’s plans for our life, the better life will be for all of us. This is not about nagging, but encouraging. There is a BIG difference between those two words.

nagging

adjective

1 complaining, grumbling, fault-finding, criticizing.

2 persistent, continuous, unrelenting

nag ¹

verb

1 harass, badger, give someone a hard time, criticize, find fault with, henpeck

2 worry, bother, annoy, irritate

encourage |enˈkərij; -ˈkə-rij|

verb [ trans. ]

give support, confidence, or hope to (someone)

• give support and advice 

• help

ORIGIN Middle English (formerly also as incourage): from French encourager, from   en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

I love that this word submit in the New Testament times was a military term. If we look at our modern military and the way it is run, we see order, that there is someone in command (in charge) and everyone else is under their command. This is normal and there is no objections, or refusal to do as the one in command tells them to do. If everyone rejected or refused to do what they were told and did it their way, there would be absolute chaos. It is a given that you obey your commanding officer. If there is order they are more effective in battle, the job gets done. There is an attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility and carrying/sharing a burden. The higher the rank in the military the higher the level of responsibility and accountability there is.

This is the same with marriage, if everyone is fighting for their way in marriage it is chaos, and nothing good comes out of chaos, only pain and suffering. We are in a battle together against unseen forces in the spiritual realm, we need to join forces against the evil that intends to steal, kill and destroy from us personally, in our marriages and from our families. Our enemy tries to fool us into fighting against each other instead of  working together and fighting him. Satan wins if we fight with each other, then we take our attention off the real battle, the battle against the evil spiritual forces that are working to kill, steal and destroy everything that God created and loved, and that includes marriage and family.

God I choose to believe that you knew what you were doing when you created marriage, and that through marriage you might use it to teach me and change me into who you want me to be, and that ultimately you will use it to show the world your glory. Thank you God that you are full of grace and mercy.

God I need you to help me understand what submit means to you, and why you gave that responsibility to us wives. You know that my human nature fights this idea of submission, you know this will not be easy for me. Please give me your grace and mercy as I struggle with this. Help me to adopt the attitude of your Son Jesus, not my will but yours be done. Help me to act in accordance with your will even if I never fully understand the why. I place myself and our family in your hands God, I trust you. I believe that you have plans for us, to prosper not to harm, as your word says. Thank you God!!

* note: My marriage is healthy enough not to suffer with violence, or neglect, if you have to deal with these things, you need to seek the help of wise, godly counselors or friends, and maybe even the police. God put people in these positions of authority to help those who suffer at the expense of those who are not walking in His ways. Seek help from your pastor, or a trusted friend, or the police, don’t suffer, God didn’t intend for that for you. His plans for you and for me are to prosper us, not to harm us. He loves you, and He would want you out of a dangerous situation. Tell someone! Don’t sit there and suffer!